PODCAST: Season 6, Episode 52
Grab your coffee and let’s talk about something that’s probably costing you more than you realize. This isn’t another “charge your worth” lecture – this is about the sneaky ways you’re still discounting yourself without even realizing it. If you think you’ve got your pricing sorted, but you’re exhausted, resentful, or constantly “throwing in extras,” this episode is going to open your eyes to what’s really happening in your business.
Key Topics Covered
In this game-changing episode, I explore:
- The over-accommodation trap – How “good service” is actually you giving 5K of value for 2K
- Why less is actually more – How over-giving can set your clients up for failure
- The sneaky ways you discount yourself – Beyond just lowering your prices
- Real client examples – From unlimited WhatsApp to weekend responses to “just one more thing”
- How to audit what you’re actually delivering – Vs. what you’re charging for
- Boundary scripts that work – Professional ways to hold your pricing integrity
- The cost of over-accommodating – To your time, nervous system, and client results
The Real Problem: It’s Not Your Pricing, It’s Your Over-Giving
This episode continues the pricing theme, but with a different angle. Many of my successful clients – the ones who’ve been in business for years and “know their worth” on paper – are still over-accommodating like crazy.
The Classic Example
A client told me she had her pricing completely sorted. She knew her worth. She wasn’t discounting.
But then we got into the weeds of what she was actually offering:
- Core program
- PLUS unlimited WhatsApp
- PLUS extra sessions if needed
- PLUS feedback on all their work/websites
- PLUS custom workbooks (because someone mentioned they learn better that way)
- PLUS weekend responses (because “what if they need me?”)
My response: “This isn’t a program. This is like five different programs and you’re only charging for one.”
Her defense? “I want to give them a good experience. I want them to get results.”
But here’s the truth: You’re not always helping your client by over-giving.
My Own Over-Giving Story
I’ll never forget when my mindset coach asked me about my group coaching offer. I told her the price, and she said, “Okay, cool. What do they get for that?”
As I listed everything, she interrupted: “Mills, do you offer a babysitting service as well?”
I laughed. She laughed. But then she said, “You might as well be. And you haven’t even gotten to the end of what you’re giving them.”
She was absolutely right.
What Over-Giving Actually Does
When you over-give, you’re teaching your clients:
- Your boundaries don’t exist – They learn they can ask for more and you’ll give it
- They get overwhelmed – Too much information, too much access, too many options
- They don’t implement – Too much, too fast means they can’t execute anything properly
The Weekly Call Trap
If you’re offering two calls per week (or even one call every single week), ask yourself: Is this overkill?
Think about it:
- Client has a call with you
- They’ve got some life stuff going on
- They’ve got work to do in their business
- Suddenly it’s time for the next call
- They haven’t implemented what you discussed
- They haven’t seen what worked or didn’t work
- They’re set up for failure
Sometimes less is more. Clients need time to breathe, implement, and see results before the next session.
The Questions That Reveal Over-Accommodation
Get curious about these:
- Do you throw in extras because someone seems nice? (Or because you want to seem nice?)
- Do you extend deadlines because they had a busy week?
- Real example: A client had a bonus deadline at midnight. Someone messaged “the crack of sparrows” the next morning asking to extend it because they’d had a rough week. She said yes. But legally? You probably can’t do that. And boundary-wise? That’s not holding your container.
- Do you give extra sessions because you feel bad charging separately?
- Do you respond immediately even during your time off?
- Do you customize everything because you don’t want to seem too rigid?
If you answered yes to ANY of these, you’re over-accommodating.
What Over-Accommodation Actually Costs You
1. Your Time
Obviously. But also your mental space, weekends, evenings.
2. Your Pricing Integrity
If you’re giving £5K of value for £2K, your pricing isn’t real.
3. Your Client Results
This might seem controversial, but: When you give people too much access, they don’t do the work. They just check in with you instead.
4. Your Nervous System
Constantly performing. Constantly available. Constantly worried you’re not doing enough.
My Evolution: What I Stopped Doing
I used to be the queen of over-giving:
- Unlimited Voxer
- Weekend and evening responses
- “Oh you need an extra call? Sure, I’ll do it.”
I haven’t done an evening call in probably three years now. And I don’t intend to start anytime soon.
If someone wants an evening call? They’re not my ideal client.
The Australia Example (Total Badass Move)
I had a client who works with people in Australia. I asked, “How does that work with your times?”
She said, “What do you mean? I don’t change my times. If they want to get up at 4am, they can get up at 4am.”
Queen behavior! If they want you, they’ll come to your time.
Analogy: If you want your hair done and your stylist only has three dates available, you either:
- Cancel something else and do it
- Go somewhere else
- Don’t get your hair done
They’re NOT going to say, “You can only do 10pm on Thursday evening? Okay, we’ll keep the salon open.” That doesn’t happen.
The Pattern I Noticed
The clients who got the BEST results were the ones using me the LEAST.
They:
- Used their allocated time
- Did the work
- Showed up prepared
- Didn’t constantly need me
The ones always, always, always needing me? They weren’t implementing as much.
There’s a balance – when people first start with me, there’s more activity in the chat. But it’s about teaching them to implement and do the work.
The Voxer Wake-Up Call
I’ll never forget this. I was pricing something up and said casually, “And they’ll get Voxer.”
My coach: “Okay, how much Voxer time do you think that is?” Me: “Oh, I don’t know… 20 minutes a day?” Her: “You sure?”
I tracked it with Toggle. It was HOURS.
I thought, “God, I’ve really got to charge for that time.” It made me realize that Voxer time is precious. It’s not “a little extra.” It’s part of my consultancy strategy and I need to charge for it.
The Honest Truth About Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t about being mean. They’re about being honest with yourself.
When you over-accommodate, you’re being dishonest because:
- You’re saying one price but delivering completely different value
- You’re promising one thing but giving way more
Your clients can feel that. They sense when you’re giving from a place that’s not quite right.
You want to be really clear and happy about what you’re giving and charging.
Your Over-Accommodation Audit
Let’s do this properly:
Step 1: List Everything You Actually Deliver
Not what you sell. What you actually GIVE them. All the extras. All the “I’ll just do this.” All of it. List it.
Step 2: Calculate What That’s Worth
If you sold each piece separately, what would you charge? Add it up.
I guarantee it’s probably more than you’re currently charging.
Step 3: Decide What Stays and What Goes
You have two options:
- Raise your prices to match the value you’re giving
- Reduce what you’re giving to match the price
Step 4: Communicate the Change
For new clients: Just update your offer
For existing clients: “I’m updating how I structure my offers. Moving forward, I’m going to be doing X, Y, Z.”
But What If…?
“Won’t people be disappointed?” “What if they don’t book?” “What if they think I’m being difficult?” “What if clients slow down?”
Here’s the truth: If clients are upset about your pricing boundaries, they probably aren’t your ideal client.
Your ideal clients will respect your boundaries. People who want to work with you will respect themselves AND you.
Scripts That Work
When Someone Asks for Something Extra:
“I’d love to help you with that. That’s slightly outside our current scope of work, but I can add it in as an additional service for [X amount]. Do you want me to send you over the details?”
When Someone Asks for Unlimited Access:
“I’ve really found the structure that helps my clients get the best results. I offer [specific access]. If you need more than that, we can look at my higher tier.”
Remember: You’re the consultant. You’re the service provider. You need to ADVISE on what that service is and how much they need of you.
For Current Clients (Refining Boundaries):
“I’m refining how I structure my time and serving my clients better. Moving forward, I’ll be implementing [this change]. I appreciate your understanding.”
None of these are mean. They’re not rigid. They’re just honest and professional.
Final Reflection Questions
Before you move on with your week, sit with these:
- What are you currently giving that you’re not charging for?
- What would change if you only delivered exactly what you sold?
- What are you accommodating that’s actually beyond your scope of practice?
- If your favorite client asked for the same accommodation, would you give it?
- If not, why are you giving it to others?
- What boundary would make your business feel more sustainable?
Your Action Step This Week
Pick ONE thing you’re going to stop over-accommodating on this week. Just one.
Maybe it’s:
- Not responding on weekends anymore
- Not throwing in extras
- Holding one specific boundary
Hold that boundary.
Remember
You’re not being difficult. You’re being more professional.
You’re not being rigid. You’re being more structured and sustainable.
Your business growth should give you MORE freedom, not less. MORE space, not less. MORE ease, not more chaos.
Let’s Connect!
Come into my Instagram DMs @mills_gray and tell me:
- What came up for you during this audit?
- What boundaries do you need to implement?
- What are you over-accommodating on?
Share this episode to your stories and tag me if someone you know needs to hear this!
You’re not undercharging. You’re over-accommodating. And it’s costing you more than money – it’s costing you your time, energy, and peace of mind.