PODCAST: Season 7, Episode 16
This week I’m joined by Tim Hayes — coach, former City boy, ex-crack addict, and one of the most honest and compelling people I’ve had on this pod. Tim helps coaches, entrepreneurs, and high achievers dismantle the mental noise that keeps them stuck, anxious, and suffering far more than they need to. We get into his wild backstory, his pivot away from business strategy coaching, and the Ayahuasca ceremony that changed everything.
If you’ve ever made the money, hit the goals, done all the things — and still felt like something was off — this episode is for you.
Why Strategy Fails When You Don’t Know Who You Are
Tim spent years building a successful business coaching practice — and helping people make money. But something kept nagging at him. His clients were still riddled with self-doubt, still anxious, still suffering. He realised that strategy without self-knowledge is just noise. As Mills puts it: mindset is the engine, strategy is the vehicle. You can’t put a Ford engine in a Ferrari and expect to cross the finish line intact.
Tim eventually dropped the strategic positioning approach entirely and moved into what he calls “coming home” work — dismantling the conditioned mind so people can finally operate from who they actually are.
The Generational Hangover We’ve All Normalised
One of the most striking things Tim says in this episode is that we’ve collectively accepted worry, shame, and self-doubt as a normal state of being. We haven’t — it’s just what got handed down. Our parents did their best, their parents did their best, and here we all are carrying the same stuff forward without questioning it.
Tim’s work is about interrupting that cycle. Not through talk therapy (which he’s tried and found limited), but through a process that dismantles the thinking systems that fuel anxiety in the first place.
The Ayahuasca Ceremony That Changed Everything
Tim has done Ayahuasca more than 20 times. In his very first ceremony, he went down a wormhole and found a box — and inside that box was supposed to be the thing. The core wound. The reason for all the suffering. He was terrified to open it. When he finally did? There was nothing inside. Nothing at all. That moment cracked open the realisation that the suffering, the shame, the loops — none of it was real. It was a story. And stories can be let go.
Presence Isn’t Passive — It’s the Highest Performance State
A big myth Tim busts in this episode: being present doesn’t mean being unambitious or checked out. It’s actually the opposite. He uses the example of tennis player Carlos Alcaraz — the reason he plays shots no one has ever seen before is because he is so fully himself, so fully in it, that what comes through transcends anything the thinking mind could plan.
That’s the work. Not managing your suffering better. Actually being free from it.
What To Do When the Worrying Mind Won’t Shut Up
Tim shares his practical approach to the moments when it all goes sideways — money stress, rent due in three days, the spiral starting the second he opens his eyes. His method: observe it, write it down, paint the worst case picture, and then ask — what’s the actual solution here? He builds his focus in 30-second increments if he has to, resetting and breathing each time. It’s spiritual fitness, practiced like physical fitness. Daily. Consistently. Especially when things are going well.
Reflection Questions
- Where are you waiting for the boxes to be ticked before you allow yourself to feel at peace?
- Are you doing your inner work only in crisis, or are you building it as a daily practice?
- What story have you been carrying that might have nothing inside it?
- Is the thing slowing you down fear, or is it genuine wisdom asking you to wait?
About Tim Hayes
Tim works with clients one-to-one and in intimate group settings, all starting with his Freedom Code process — a structured method for dismantling the conditioned mind. He offers flexible, highly individual containers and always starts with gifted sessions so people can actually feel the work before committing.
Find Tim and connect with his work via Instagram @timhayes.coach